Solitude is a friend with benefits, and I’d like to introduce you to three of those benefits. But first, loneliness and alone-liness are two different things, the former is a straight jacket and the a walk around Walden’s Pond.  And if you haven’t tried typing with a straight jacket on, let me just tell you that your nose and tongue have their own form of carpal tunnel— loneliness is not keyboard friendly.  I’m talking about alone-liness in this post, which can be a source of strength for your career and your life.

Three powerful benefits of solitude are:

1) Increased Memory

Bethany Burum, a graduate student at Harvard, tried a simple test.  She took two strangers into a room, made introductions and gave them a few minutes to get acquainted.  Then Bethany had the two people sit back to back, each person viewing a computer monitor.  The monitors would then scroll through a set of images.  After a few days, the participants were brought back and asked what images they saw the previous day.

Some sets of people had been told they were viewing the same images, while others were told that they were viewing unique sets of images.  People who thought they were viewing a unique set of images had a more accurate recall.

The people who believed they were viewing the same images as the person behind them experienced what Bethany calls “the coexperiencing mind.”  Another example: If two people are rowing a boat towards the shore, neither will row at 100% her capability.  Bethany notes that the findings are preliminary, but sheesh, what insight might this offer committee / board meetings?

Own your experiences like you are the last of the great oral historians in your tribe.  Solitude with increase your knowledge retention. And even if you have no other reason to remember things, it will make you feel good when you watch Jeopardy.

2) Self Confidence

“Solitude is independence.” -Hermann Hesse

The Wilderness Survival merit badge was one of my favorite times in Boy Scouts.  After a decent amount of training, I had to go out into the wood by myself, build a shelter, and survive.  I loved every minute of that wet, freezing night inside my lean-to, and it hurt more than the rocks I slept on to take it down in the morning.

As much as I love me some social connectivity, I find myself craving alone time when my daily responsibilities are dragging me down.  When I start wishing I could smell like a campfire and I’ve re-read all of the Art of Manliness posts, I know it’s time to unplug.  I’ve also noticed that when I postpone alone time, I’m not as productive, I forget to take out the trash, and my kids think I’m no fun anymore.

Rainer Maria Rilke writes, “But everything that may some day be possible to many the solitary man can now prepare and build with his hands, that err less. Therefore, dear sir, love your solitude and bear with sweet-sounding lamentation the suffering it causes you.”

The Little Engine That Could probably wouldn’t be so memorable if he checked the comments on his Facebook status every turn of the track— oh, look… Sally thinks I can too, guess I’ll keep going— no, The Little Engine did it in solitude, and that bought him self confidence.

3) Empathy

Adam Waytz, in the Harvard psychology department, recently did a study that found people who are socially connected have a harder time relating to those who are more distant from them.  Alternatively, people that took a social step back to be alone were more open and empathetic with other people.

Leo Babauta says, “Don’t get me wrong: I love being with loved ones, and walking with a friend or watching the sunset with my wife or reading a book with my child are also among my absolute favorite things in the world.  But solitude, in these days as much as ever, is an absolute necessity.”

That can seem counter-intuitive, but think about a few spiritual leaders throughout history (Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, Moses, etc.)… there was always an element of solitude in their lives, but they always returned with greater compassion towards the people around them.

Telework jobs come with a certain amount of guaranteed solitude, and sometimes (and this from experience) that can turn into loneliness.  But carefully managing your alone time can bring greater memory capacity, self confidence, and empathy into your work and personal life.

What are your thoughts on solitude?